Stunned, the man asks, “So, what’s your story?”
The dog says, “Well, I discovered my ability to talk as a puppy. I told the CIA, and they had me traveling the world, listening in on foreign leaders. Later I retired and settled down.”
The owner says, “Ten dollars.”
“Ten dollars? Why so cheap?”
The owner shrugs, “Because that dog is a liar. He didn’t do any of that.”
The Forgetful Husband
An elderly couple is having dinner when the wife says, “I’ve decided to go upstairs and take a bath.”
Her husband replies, “Okay, sweetheart. I’ll go turn the water on for you.”
He walks up the stairs, and a few moments later the wife follows — only to find him standing in front of the closet, confused.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
He answers, “I forgot if I was getting dressed or taking a bath.”
Prescription Trouble
The pharmacist suddenly slaps the man across the face.
“What did you do that for?” the man asks, stunned.
“Well, you don’t have hiccups anymore, do you?”
The man says, “No…but my wife out in the car does!”
Retirement Perks
Two retirees are sitting on a bench.
One says, “My memory is getting so bad, I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ — that way, when I forget, the computer tells me, ‘Your password is incorrect.’”
The other says, “That’s brilliant. I should change mine to ‘forgotten.’ Then it’ll say, ‘Your password has been forgotten.’”
