People often say that you never forget your first deeply personal experience. For many, these experiences are thought of as milestones, moments of growth that are memorable for reasons of excitement, anticipation, or joy.
Perhaps it’s the kind of moment you’ve been waiting for, or that you imagine will be filled with fun, enthusiasm, and a bit of nervous excitement. But my first experience was far from anything I could have imagined.
At the time, I had no idea how my body would respond, or how I would handle what was to come. What I remember most vividly is not the feeling of excitement or even nerves, but the overwhelming sensation of fear.
I remember the tears streaming down my face—tears that I couldn’t seem to stop, despite trying to hold them back. There was no sense of peace or comfort in that moment. Instead, I felt trapped in a whirlwind of emotions, unable to make sense of what was happening.
I was surrounded by people, yet I felt completely alone. A close friend of mine stood by my side, holding my hand, trying to offer support, but there was so much happening around me that I couldn’t focus on anything.
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